Stupid online dating questions
While I still believe what I wrote there, I’m finding that many of the women who are contacting me are not at the point where they are sure if the man is their “boyfriend” or not.With that in mind I wanted to review one of the recent emails I’ve received from a reader and offer some additional advice for this problem.Perhaps not nice or courteous but not unfair either.It’s especially bothersome if his actions suggest exclusivity even if he hasn’t declared so in words…and yet it is still acceptable in my mind for him to keep his profile up, even in this case.What You Do The one thing you shouldn’t do is verbally attack the guy or start throwing out ultimatums.If he’s hesitating because he’s concerned about commitment, this approach could scare him off.Once you’ve decided to get a clearer idea of where your relationship stands, I recommend trying to start conversations as naturally as possible over a 2 to 4 week period.
If you think this is annoying I definitely understand but I would still encourage tact when you try to resolve this issue.
If you have agreed to be exclusive, things are easy: you just need to ask him to take it down!
If you haven’t agreed to be exclusive, I feel this is the point that the relationship would need to reach before you would be in a position of strength to ask that the profile be removed.
Moving Towards an Exclusive Relationship Assuming the “let’s be exclusive” conversation hasn’t happened, I would recommend you start to slowly but intentionally determine if he feels your relationship is headed in that direction.
Where does he see this relationship going, exactly?As I discussed above, I would recommend against being aggressive or angry.